Motherhood is hard for even the most creative Pinterest inspired mom. In recent years we have been told that if we do not model motherhood to a certain level, we are failing! This leads to a generation of moms who are struggling with comparing themselves to others and no longer enjoying the fruits of motherhood!
As working moms, we can feel the sting of comparison two-fold. We admire the time our stay at home counterparts must spend with their children. We desire the ability to pour into our children more. We aren’t able to do the more we desire for our children because of the career we may also enjoy.
It can be disheartening when we start to feel that our children should be getting better. When we feel that we aren’t enough. Comparison is a highlighter of iniquities and a stealer of joy. Comparison hangs blinds over the windows of our blessings and tells us we are in the dark. Comparing yourself to others is a lie.
So how does a mom who is feeling inadequate and struggling with comparison cope?
Why do I compare myself to others?
Picture this, you pull into your neighborhood after picking up your children from daycare. Its nearly dinner time and you have no idea what to cook. You rush through the afternoon routine and settle on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and pringles. As you scroll through facebook you see a friend is eating dinner at the table with her family with no less than 4 of the food groups on the plate.
You think to yourself. “I’m failing my children!”
Does this moment sound familiar?
A space in time where anxiety pushes you further and further away from the joy of a blessing that God has given you?
Why do we compare ourselves? Comparison comes from a distorted focus. Keeping our eyes on the things in front of others rather than what is in front of us leads us to a place of discontentment with what we have. Comparing ourselves to others causes us to minimize our own abundance.
Comparison drives you to see only what you cannot fit into your overflowing cup.
What does the bible say about comparison?
The bible is clear on comparison. God created us in his image. He created each of us uniquely. We were not made to look the same or be good at the same things. He created us with a specific purpose and plan.
When you spend time comparing yourself to others, you are coming into agreement with the lies of the enemy. When we look at the mom next door and wish for her giftings we are sacrificing our ability to grow in the giftings God has given us. We are also assuming we know better than God what our children need.
Bible verses about comparison
The following scriptures about comparing ourselves to others are a reminder that God created us specifically for a purpose. In motherhood, that purpose is tied to the personalities of the children we were given. When we are struggling with the needs of our babies and wondering if we are failing at this mommy thing, reminding ourselves of these scriptures will help us to stop comparing ourselves to others and to look at everything we are to and for our babies.
For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 ESV
This comparison bible verse reminds us who we should be seeking for validation and purpose. When we seek the Lord and look to him when we are struggling with doubt about our ability we are filled up with the truth of all he has created us to be. When we instead seek man to give us validation we are left feeling vulnerable to the snares of comparison.
For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it? 1 Corinthians 4:7
When we compare ourselves to others, we are agreeing with the plans of the enemy for our lives. Comparison is the thief of joy and the stretcher of truth. Comparison says “I am ill-equipped for the task at hand.” The truth is God has given me everything I need for the plans he has set before me. The truth of his word says that he prepared us for good works, and every good thing comes from him.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17
This bible verse about comparison reminds us that everything good and perfect comes from God and is a perfect pair to the previous passage. God plans for us, then prepares us by gifting us good and perfect gifts to help us succeed at the thing he has planned for us.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14
Anytime we think or search for what does the bible say about comparison this passage should be one that we study. This verse reminds us mamas that we were created by the maker of the universe. We were wonderfully made and this comparison bible verse reminds us that this truth is written deep in our soul.
Additional Comparison Bible Verses
The following bible verses about comparison are great assets to any bible study for busy moms. If you have ever felt the sting of comparison even if for a moment, filling those attacked voids with the power of the word of God will help even the woman struggling with comparison the most to feel more at ease.
Meditate on these comparison bible studies daily!
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness. Romans 12:4-8
“Woe to him who strives with him who formed him, a pot among earthen pots! Does the clay say to him who forms it, ‘What are you making?’ or ‘Your work has no handles’? Isaiah 45:9
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; Romans 12:6
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. Psalm 138:8
How do I stop comparing myself to others?
If you are struggling with comparing yourself to others you aren’t alone. Society and social media culture have made it nearly impossible not to have direct access to the best of the lives of others. Some ways to fight back the comparison trap are:
Ask God to give you a grateful heart and eyes that see – This is always the answer! When you are struggling with comparing yourself to others and having a hard time seeing the beauty of the life that you have and who you are, pray. Lay your feelings and your concerns before God and allow him to change your heart.
Detox social media – Understanding your triggers for comparison are important to changing your tendency towards comparison. Social media can be a significant trigger for many. Decreasing your access to social media platforms decreases your focus on what others have and allows for more room to appreciate what you do have.
Practice gratitude – Speaking of appreciation. Start a prayer journal and add praise reports. Give thanks for the things that you do have going right in your life.
Be present – Having goals is good, but sometimes these goals and the time it takes to reach them can cause us to covet others reaching their own goals. Focus on the things that are going on right now. Focus on what you can do today.
Accept your past – Taking account of the things in your past and how far you have come on your motherhood journey can help you gain better appreciation for where you are now.
Celebrate small wins – Did you read an extra story tonight? Give your little one a few more minutes of cuddles? Let’s try even smaller, your children ate, food. You are doing it mama! Celebrate your wins! This will build a mindset of seeing the blessings in little things.
Work on improving yourself – If you must compare, comparison between the person you are today and who you will become in the future works. Make goals for what you want motherhood to look like to you in the future but make them SMART goals.
Take account of your successes – Going along with the goals you set is seeing those goals come into fruition. Did you set the goal to spend more individual time with your children everyday? Have you gone a week and spent 15 minutes with each of your littles ones as part of their bedtime routine? WAY TO GO MAMA!! Little ways to show your children you care builds memories for them and for you and can help you get beyond comparison.
Simple act of smiling – When you feel the weight of comparison falling on your shoulders, smile inwardly and outwardly. The simple act of smiling will release chemicals that will change the tone of the comparison. You will go from recognizing your fellow mom as a opponent to acknowledging her as a teammate!
Congratulate others – When you see a mama doing something amazing let her know! Chances are she’s also struggled with doubt in one way or another.
Positive affirmations – Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Speaking positive affirmations and adding them to your daily self-care routine is an excellent way of transforming your mind and
Affirmations to combat comparison in motherhood
Positive affirmations are one aspect of mental self-care that can very easily be used as a tool in all other aspects of self-care. Our thoughts are powerful! The things we say to ourselves create patterns in our life. If we are constantly telling ourselves that we do not measure up to our fellow mamas, a pattern of lack is created. If instead we use positive affirmations, we can re-wire our mindsets by speaking truths to ourselves and create a pattern of abundance we were created for!
Try out these affirmations as part of your daily self-care routine to stop comparing yourself to others and start enjoying the journey of motherhood you are on.
- I am confident that I am a great mom
- I was created to understand my children and what they require in order to flourish
- I take great joy in parenting my children.
- I encourage my children to grow into unique and people who are full of joy
- My children have all they need
- I am equipped to raise my children
- My children have clothing, food, shelter and the love they need to thrive
- I anticipate my children’s needs as well as I can and ensure they are satisfied.
- There is no other mom better suited for my children than me
- I tell my children I love and support them
- My children feel loved and safe
- I continue to give my children the best parts of me
- I make the best choices I can to raise my children
- I was designed to be who my children need me to be
There’s only one you, mama!
Remember mama you are miraculously and wonderfully made! You are a daughter of the king. God took time and thought of you before you were in your mother’s womb. He designed you for your children and them for you. Comparison has no place, because for your littles, there’s only one you!