Do you constantly find yourself looking for ways to stop comparing yourself to others?
Do you often find yourself comparing your life to others, feeling discouraged that you’re not quite measuring up?
Even though you may be following a path that many only dream of, you often feel like others have it all together while you’re struggling to get by.
The truth is, this is not at all the case! All of us deal with some type of comparison and as women in general we will struggle with stacking ourselves against others.
Comparison causes us to feel inadequate and unfulfilled! It’s time to break free of those negative comparison traps and start embracing who God made you alongside other women who are also striving for greatness in their own lives.
Here’s 10 practical ways that working moms and working women, in general, can implement into their daily routines in order to stop comparing themselves with everyone else.
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Why do I compare myself to others?
Picture this, you pull into your neighborhood after picking up your children from daycare. Its nearly dinner time and you have no idea what to cook. You rush through the afternoon routine and settle on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and pringles.
As you scroll through Facebook you see a friend is eating dinner at the table with her family with no less than 4 of the food groups on the plate.
You think to yourself. “I’m failing my children!”
Does this moment sound familiar?
A space in time where anxiety pushes you further and further away from the joy of a blessing that motherhood is?
So, why do we compare ourselves to others? Comparison comes from a distorted focus. Keeping our eyes on the things in front of others rather than what is in front of us leads us to a place of discontentment with what we have.
Comparing ourselves to others causes us to minimize our own abundance.
Comparison drives you to see only what you cannot fit into your overflowing cup.
Practical Ways to stop comparing yourself to others
If you are struggling with comparing yourself to others you aren’t alone. Society and social media culture have made it nearly impossible not to have direct access to the best of the lives of others.
Let’s look at some simple ways you can change your perspective and adjust your routines in order to fight back against the comparison trap.
Recognize what’s true
Start by being mindful of your thoughts and feelings. Recognize when the thoughts you are having are coming from fear, worry or self-judgment rather than love or appreciation for what is in front of you.
Taking time through simple processes like journaling can help you list out the lies that comparison often blares in our minds. Writing these out can help you recognize what is true by combating those lies with truth about who you are and what you are capable of.
Understanding your triggers for comparison are important to changing your tendency towards comparison. Social media can be a significant trigger for many. Decreasing your access to social media platforms decreases your focus on what others have and allows for more room to appreciate what you do have.
This captivating journal walks you through the many gifts that motherhood can bring. It celebrates all of the amazing things you are in the lives of your littles! It encourages you to confidently walk on your authentic path of motherhood!
Comparison calls us to focus on what we don’t have or what is missing in our lives. To stop comparing ourselves to others, it is important to practice gratitude for the blessings and abundance that we do have.
Focusing on gratitude can be done in many ways such as making a list of things you are thankful for or writing out three things each day that you are able to do well in motherhood.
You could even starting a prayer journal and add praise reports. Give thanks for the things that you do have going right in your life.
Pray for a heart of contentment
This is always the answer! When you are struggling with comparing yourself to others and having a hard time seeing the beauty of the life that you have and who you are, pray. Lay your feelings and your concerns before God and allow him to change your heart.
We all have goals and a vision for our lives. Having goals is great, but sometimes these goals and the time it takes to reach them can cause us to covet the successes of others.
Instead of spending all of your focus on what is to come, be intentional about focusing on the things that are going on right now. Focus on what you can do today.
Accept your past
Often guilt and insecurities cause us to compare ourselves to others. When we stop to realize that our past doesn’t define us, it can help us stop comparing our pasts to other’s successes.
It is ok for you to not be as far along in your life or motherhood journey as someone else and it’s also ok for you to be different from everyone else.
Taking account of the things in your past and how far you have come on your motherhood journey can help you gain better appreciation for where you are now.
Celebrate small wins
Did you read an extra story tonight? Give your little one a few more minutes of cuddles? Let’s try even smaller, your children ate, food. You are doing it mama! Celebrate your wins!
This will build a mindset of seeing the blessings and abilities in little things. When you stop to appreciate the little wins, it can stop the comparison train that is trying to cause guilt and worry.
Take small actions to get better
If you must compare, comparison between the person you are today and who you will become in the future works. As parents all of us are just trying to do the best we can, and to grow into the parent that our children need.
It’s okay to make goals for what you want motherhood to look like to you in the future but make them SMART goals.
Take account of your successes
Going along with the goals you set is seeing those goals come to fruition. Did you set the goal to spend more individual time with your children every day?
Have you gone a week and spent 15 minutes with each of your little ones as part of their bedtime routine? WAY TO GO MAMA!! Little ways to show your children you care build memories for them and you and can help you get beyond comparison.
Find time to smile
When you feel the weight of comparison falling on your shoulders, smile inwardly and outwardly. The simple act of smiling will release chemicals that will change the tone of the comparison. You will go from recognizing your fellow mom as a opponent to acknowledging her as a teammate!
When you see a mama doing something amazing let her know! Chances are she’s also struggled with doubt in one way or another. Celebrating the success of others can stop comparison while also boosting your self-esteem.
It’s amazing what happens when we stop comparing ourselves others and start congratulating them!
Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Speaking positive affirmations and adding them to your daily routine is an excellent way of transforming your mind and stop the comparison game.
Affirmations like, “I am a good mother” and “I can do hard things” will stop negative thoughts and stop the comparison game.
Stop comparing yourself to others and be proud of how far you have come as a working mom!
There is no comparison to you
When we stop letting fear and comparison steal our joy in motherhood, we can rejoice in the beautiful life that God has blessed us with. With a perspective shift, intentional practices and prayer, you can stop comparing yourself to others and embrace the unique person God made you to be.
Focus on what you can do today and don’t forget to celebrate your small wins! Congratulate other moms who are succeeding and stop negative thoughts with positive affirmations. You are an amazing working mom, stop comparing yourself to others and start embracing who you are and who you were created to be!